fare thee well, 2011

In early March, my pregnancy with sweet little Lilli was confirmed. We were on our way to Moab to meet up w/some friends & I was beside myself w/excitement in going to this place that my husband loves so dearly & I had never before seen. While we en route, I started showing signs of miscarriage, but we decided to just go on & try to enjoy ourselves because if I was indeed miscarrying, there was nothing to be done but get through it. Driving back home wouldn't stop it if it was coming. By God's grace we DID have a great time in Moab-- but on the last afternoon things got more serious & we drove through the night to get home so I could go to the OB on Friday. Friday afternoon I went in, holding on to what little control I had with every ounce of will in my body. I wasn't overly successful. I cried in the car, I cried in the elevator, I cried in the room waiting for the sonogram.

I cried when they told me the heartbeat was strong.

At the end of April, I was having some trouble with my crohn's AGAIN. We were spending Easter w/our dear Burchams & I just wasn't feeling quite myself. A short week later, a precious friend drove/flew (right, April??) me to Sky Ridge ER-- I was in all kinds of trouble. You may recall the 2 1/2 weeks I spent there this summer. I checked in April 30, & was discharged May 16. I can't express to you my desperation to GET OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. I had had emergency surgery, had come very close to waiting too long for it. I was faced with the grim reality that my disease was too much for my doctors & was advised to go elsewhere. My blood was a problem only slightly then, but my hematologist was away & though his substitute was doing all the right things, I felt like I had been abandoned by the 2 doctors that had known me & my diseases from the get go. It was not encouraging. Two days after I got home, my incision was so infected they cut it open right there in the doctor's office & sent me home w/my insides out.

Dark days for me, trying to get my head around a LONG recovery. Trying to give up the privacy/control of being our own family while not even being able to sit up on my own, needing almost constant help from the outside. Watching my boy grow up without being able to be a part of his summer of change & learning.

It was hard. It was not what I wanted.

In August, after having regained mobility for about 2 or 3 wks, I was put on bed rest because my body would not stop contracting. It wasn't that the contractions were accomplishing much, but w/my history it wasn't worth the risk. Bed rest isn't great for someone who has blood clotting issues, let alone a 2 year old, but we wanted this baby to make it, so I kept to the couch & bed & watched more of my year go by. In September, the clots came anyway, & I spent a panicked 48 hours in the ICU getting the meds I needed to calm the clots down enough for blood flow to be restored. They sent me home w/my due date decided upon.

We just had to make it to October 20th.

I felt like I would, easily, but my veins were in poor shape & things were only getting worse-- near the end I was going in daily for blood draws; my levels were being very closely monitored & they were anything but consistent. My sweet mother drove me EVERYWHERE. God provided a beautiful sweet soul to care for Emmett since I was at either a dr appt or the hospital almost daily. It was tedious at best. But time marches on.

The morning of Lilli's birth I was a bit of a mess. Not a hot mess, just a room temperature mess. I had barely slept the night before-- I wish I could say it was joyous anticipation, but it was outright fear. Would they be able to start an IV?? Would my intestines freak out or be normal?? Would all their promises concerning my clotting issues not being issues this go-round come true? Would Lilli be all right? Would I be alive to see her? I would like to say that I was calm & happy & had music playing, candles burning, etc... but I can't. It just didn't matter to me. I wanted it to go perfectly for her. For all of us.

It almost did. :)

I bruised again-- two hematomas that were causing me too much pain to make sense. I was sent home on 15 mg of percocet every 2-4 hours & I was taking it. I feared an encore of what happened to me after Emmett was born-- & I guess it basically did happen, but with the constant watching-out for me by my doctors, the urgency was avoided. A month after Lilli was born I was back in the Interventional Radiology department getting my clots drilled out. Same old same old :) Another stay in the ICU. I got to have a pic line, because my veins had still not recovered enough for an IV to be an option, & after a flawless day of procedures (success!), my arm & the pic line were at odds. I have no idea what happened, but my arm swelled to larger than my leg & started to turn a nice dark purple. It was so painful I can't put it in to words. Worst pain of the year. My arm was unusable. They sent me home with blood flow, though.

...

I wanted to write it all out to play a bit of catch-up. I don't know if you're a details person, but I like to know what's going on-- instead of vague references to things I don't know about. Like coming in at the middle of a movie-- I don't like it. So I wrote it out & I realized a few things. It's all about ME! Isn't that embarrassing?!? I'm glad to realize it-- glad to have it glaring at me in black & white. Here's what really matters about 2011:

1. God loves me & my family. He is the Deliverer. He is the Provider. He truly lifts us up from the ashes, stays near the broken hearted, & makes His mercies new every morning. He is not defeated by our earthly flaws. He is made perfect in our weakness. I saw Him in every face of every person that ministered to me & loved me through this horrible awful year. I saw Him in each sacrifice Dave & my mother & dad made. I saw Him in every dinner that arrived at our doorstep. I saw Him in every letter of encouragement you sent me. I saw Him in the endless support you gave me. I saw Him in providing a house for my parents up the street-- & a move-in date of April 31-- when we needed help the most, He provided it. I saw Him bringing people to me to love my son in ways I could not, in taking care of Emmett with such love. He provided Melody @ just the right time.

He provided.

2. He is the Joy-Giver. He restored our souls! He overflowed our storehouses w/so much blessing we didn't know what to do with it!! He made His face shine upon us. We got to keep our precious Lilli!! There was no faltering with her-- not in March, not in scary May, not in September, not in October. She was given to us perfect. She is our sweetest gift. He kept us together with unity of spirit when things were miserable. He spared our marriage from needless quarrel. He gave me a funny husband. He gave me the best parents I could dream of. He surrounded me with good.

My cup runneth over.

I remember saying at the end of 2010 that 2011 HAD to be easier. I will not make that same claim this year! It doesn't matter what I think or figure out or decide-- it isn't up to me & I don't want it to be. God's faithfulness to us over these past two years has been overwhelming. But I hope I can give Him some time off for a while :)

I hope you know that to say thank you would be impossible. The prayers, the physical showing of support, the love-- I can't even begin to be able to truly & appropriately thank you for these gifts. I believe God is fully alive & active in our world. I believe He knows us so intimately & wants so badly to give us His love. & I want so badly to receive it.

...

I am sitting pretty here on Dec. 31st. Not my most ground-breaking new years, to be sure, but I am delighted to be having a quiet night at home, FEELING GOOD. All I want is to feel good for a while. My clots are clear, my crohn's is in what I'm going to unofficially call remission, my family is healthy. I have everything I ever wanted.

No, not a bad new years at all.

Every blessing You pour out

 I'll turn back to praise

 When the darkness closes in, Lord

 Still I will say

  Blessed be the name of the Lord

 Blessed be Your name

 Blessed be the name of the Lord

 Blessed be Your glorious name

  You give and take away

 You give and take away

 My heart will choose to say

 Lord, blessed be Your name

22 months

Emmett celebrated 22 months on Nov. 26th!!

It's been a while since I've noted his accomplishments, so I will take a moment to do so:

1. He is INFATUATED with lights. Pronounced "yahps" by our dear little lad, he will point them out everywhere & at all times. In his thinking chair, crying like a mad woman over the injustice of not being able to scream in rage, he will point to the ceiling & say "Yahp!!!"

2. He loves to run! Not surprising, I realize, but we have family runs around the loop from living-room-to-piano-room-through-kitchen-down-hall-to-living-room, & all the while he'll say "run!!", as if we would stop that kind of delight.

3. He loves certain numbers & letters. He knows them all, but only a chosen few get random shout-outs: A, M, I, Y, D, B & 1, 8, & 9. I am working on the "How old are you?" bit, without much success. I still have a month & a half.

4. He whispers certain consonants-- p & k, or a hard c. So when he sees my dad, you get a continuously whispered "Papa". When he plays with a certain beloved toy, you get the whispered "Keekan" (a car we've named after his cousin, Keegan). It is so sweet & I don't know why. I guess hearing a kid whisper is as fun as whispering can get (not including those whispers in church that get you laughing till you shake-- but you can get in trouble with those).

5. He is still calling Lilli "Yahyo" & has now started using the same word for pacifier. He didn't care near as much for his paci till Lilli's cute tiny ones started appearing, now he wants one, too. I get it.

6. He has started to help me push her stroller-- which is fantastic, only he goes REALLY fast. & I'm an old woman, I don't move so quick these days.

7. We have developed a new bed time routine that I can tell he knows & loves, which makes me feel wonderful in that motherly sort of way. He will fold his hands for a quick prayer, & just recently added his own "amen," which is adorable. He applauds after every song, & is doing the sign for "more" before I even finish :)

8. He LOVES music-- one night we were at my parents' for dinner & we spontaneously started singing some hymns, & he was grinning ear to ear, signing "more" & completely still. The still part is the most amazing ;)

9. He is starting to recognize his colors. We've been watching these Brainy Baby mini-videos on cable, which he loves, & he has learned quite a bit from them. Which is great, really, but also difficult to stop-- he is not happy when the TV is turned off, & will stand in front of it saying "watch!" until distracted or in trouble.

10. He has finally finally finally figured out that saying "help" gets better response than a mini-(& I really do mean mini) meltdown. I love hearing his little voice say "help!"

11. His favorite fruit is "appah" & every thing that isn't water or milk is "appah" Very cute all these new words that will just pop out of his mouth!! "Oba" is oatmeal, "yo-bai" is yogurt, "pops"are chips... that's all I can think of at the moment.

12. He's been great with the Christmas tree-- pointing & saying "yahp" or "bah" (ball) at his whim.

13. He still loves to be read to!!

There's Emmett in a massively condensed nutshell-- maybe I should call it the slice-of-life portrait of him. He is good natured, has started to show a sense of humor, loves to be chased/tickled/rough-housed, has become more of a cuddler before bed, & is still our little sunshine!!! We can't bear to think of life without him-- we like him & we LOVE him, too :)

coming soon...

I know, I know-- I'm TERRIBLE @ posting regularly.

Does it make it better knowing I wish I wasn't?!

I promise an update THIS WEEK!!

Lilli's crying-- gotta go!

introducing...

lillianna megan

20 october 2011

5 lb, 1 oz ... 17"

Here I am in her room just hours before my c-section-- 4:45-ish :) An early morning to be sure, but a WONDERFUL one, all the same!!

Well, people, what they say about the 2nd born is true-- we are SCRAPING for cute pics of this little lady & they were in abundance for Emmett!! Forgive the drab clothes, the ratty hospital hats, the mismatched blankets... she is clean, fed & has a warm place to sleep-- other than that, I can't help you.

She honestly does have cute pink clothes, she's just never in them when the camera's out. I do love seeing her little clothes spread out all over the place-- the preemie size fits perfect IF it is air-dried, which takes time & means we can't keep the dry clothes coming fast enough!!

Oh, how I love these little clothes!!

What an amazingly easy baby the Lord blessed us with! She is so very precious to each of us-- Emmett is thriving in his role as big brother, dishing out the kisses & always responding to her cries with a heartfelt "Oh no!!"-- it is so cute! She is waking only once every night, & gaining weight like a pro, but also getting longer (2" in the first 2 wks!!) so she is staying rather trim. Mom & I keep talking about a photo shoot, which we truly want to happen soon,

so stay tuned-- we move slow over here, but we are moving, so just be patient :)

Thank you for all your prayers-- God is so faithful & my post-op problems are small & happily managed OUTSIDE the hospital! We are blessed beyond words, & so thankful to be home together-- with no sign of that changing any time soon.

& now for the pics...

looking like big brother, big time

sweet little hands

dainty even in sleep!

tiniest legs of all time

snuggle time with Dad

& with mom

in Mema's lap

with sweet cousin Ally

. . .

More photos coming soon!!!

the FINAL countdown!!!

Ok, everyone, this IS IT.

On October 20th, I will be delivering this little bundle!!!

I will not bore you w/my medical details, but suffice it to say that my blood has been giving me some difficulty in the past month-- & my bed rest has been tedious at best, but oh-so-necessary. ANYWAY, pardon all the not-posting, I do still have my back log of things to get to, but it will not be happening (@ least I don't think it will if I know me) before this little lady shows up, SOOOOO I will leave you w/the only shot of me on bed rest with my precious little man-- who is not so little anymore!!

Thank you so much for all the prayers-- I know a lot of you worry if I don't post, so I apologize for causing you stress by my inability to get up here as often as I'd like. I need the Lord to just come down & perform my c-section next week, if you know what I'm saying :) I am confident that He is faithful & powerful enough to get me through-- to get us all through this with NO COMPLICATIONS!!! That's what we're praying for here!! Lord willing, I'll be posting by the end of the month w/pics of our new little sister :)

Emmett can already say her name!!

happy happy

7 years ago yesterday, I married a man I met in September of 1988.

It took us a while, but we got ourselves together & we plan to stay that way till death do us part!!

I know I was bragging 2 years ago about how good we are at celebrating (we slept through it), & after an aborted dinner attempt last year (thank you, Crohn's disease for inviting yourself to the Melting Pot), we managed to step it up this year:

Chili's & a Kohl's shopping spree!!!!

It's ok to admit you're jealous. It really is.

Because of medicinal limitations we only had about a 2 hour window to party down-- again, don't be jealous. Over dinner Dave noticed the anniversary gift he had given me for our first anniversary (a diamond eternity band) on my right hand & we had a good laugh at how far we've come. From diamonds to maternity sweatpants :) The sad reality is, I'll probably wear the sweatpants more!! THAT is how glamorous I am, people.

So, here's a few shots of back when I actually was glamorous, comparatively speaking, of course, & one of the happiest times of my life!

...

@ the "rehearsal" square dance...

@ the wedding!!!

on the honeymoon :)

warning: boring words-only post!!!

Okay, my mom is sitting up in my office w/me, reminding me that one of the reasons I got on this was to update my adoring public on some new issues w/the pregnancy.

First of all, is ANYONE surprised that I'd be having issues?!?!?!? ;)

I am on hard core bed rest.

August 26th I made my first solo trip to the ER-- & honestly, at this point, I can't remember what motivated the visit-- not an emergency, obviously, but something off. Anyway, all was well. A little less than a week later, I started realizing that the discomfort I was feeling was in fact contractions. Thankfully, our friends Mary Kay, Ashley & Emma were here (still waiting on pics to be uploaded & then I will detail that FUN out), so I could leave for the doctor w/no worry about Emmett. I was monitored for about an hour, & then they gave me a fetal fibronectin test. Feel free to google that-- Dave had to since he was out of town & I couldn't explain it properly-- but basically, it came back positive, which puts me at a heightened risk of having this baby w/in 2 wks of the test. What I've learned since is that once you test positive, you pretty much keep testing positive, so, long story medium-long, I am showing signs of preterm labor & they are hoping this little lady can hang in there till 36 wks. I am, as of yesterday, 31 wks. Prayers are, as ever, welcome.

The pro's:

1. She was 3 lb 2 oz as of my last sonogram, which was Aug. 20-something, so we might have a little fatty on our hands.

2. She is PERFECT. No health concerns to worry about. (PRAISE GOD!!)

3. I am wondering if God knows maybe my body can't do the whole 9 mos & this possible early delivery could spare me some trauma. (OBVIOUS speculation on my part)

4. Totally superficial, but tiny tiny babies are too cute for words... so we would have a guarantee that she'd be cute ;)

The con's:

1. It's not good for her to be early!!! She needs to grow inside me!

2. I don't want to have to leave her at the hospital in the NICU!!

3. It could cause blood complications for me since I can't yet get in sync w/my hematology office & am on the wrong blood thinners for possible delivery. (this is only temporary, of course)

At the moment I am 1 cm dilated, which is kind of a who-cares, but also shows the contractions are doing something. I will be under weekly surveillance from my AWESOME OB, so there really is nothing to worry about. My contractions fluctuate between super frequent & barely there, so it is just up in the air at this point. None of my doctors are freaking out or panicked, which is great; I feel at peace, too-- God has more than proved Himself faithful (like He needs to!) w/me in the past, so I trust His timing in all this! Truly!!

Speaking of!!! The day I found out my life was about to be confined to reclining, a sweet friend gave me the name of a girl looking for a nanny position! She is PRECIOUS, Christian, so loving toward Emmett & even agreed to help out w/housework & DINNER. If you know me well, you know how dinner is my most intimidating of all domestic responsibilities!! So not only is my Emmett cared for, but so am I!! It is working out fabulously-- my mom is getting some much needed time off! AND another dear friend offered to take Emmett w/her to BSF every Thursday morning-- if you know BSF, you know what a huge gift this is!! So my mom only has to be on call half of Thursdays & all of Fridays. It is working out perfectly!! & hopefully we'll pull through to the due date (Nov. 1), but whatever the case, we have been well blessed on every front.

Even the nursery is almost finished!!!

Ok, so I MUST go get back to being reclined instead of just sitting, & this will wrap up the massive blogging massacre of September 8, 2011. I will post more pics soon-- we got some great 3D profile shots of the little miss, & I'll get Dave to shoot the nursery, too AND Emmett's room. Things are all new around our upstairs :)

All right!! I'm shutting up!!!

the promised addition

Can I get an AMEN on this being a particularly hilarious picture of Emmett???

We had a fun week w/friends in town from LA-- great times w/the whole family & some adult times, too, getting to see some in-town friends we never see (which is ridiculous) b/c of our CA visitors. It was very fun &, for me, the first "partying" I've done since Easter. It was perfect timing, because Dave was off of work, so they all took off for a day in the mountains (I couldn't go) & came back w/these pics that made me feel like I had been, too!!

Do you see his arm bands?!?!? Cracks me up!!

Andrew, Avery, Kate & Emmett

Dave & Emmett w/a barely peeking-in Michelle

Emmett doing the all-important tummy check. He & Sara are just a week apart!

Sara

Avery & Kate

the whole fam :)

one last Emmett shot

Come back soon, Walters!!! It was too fun to have you around!!

...

I was realizing in my last post that I have no pics representing another important guest we had earlier this summer: Auntie Alyssa!!! She came while Dave was in Munich & I was still bedridden to help me make it through the week! What a Godsend, literally!!! It was not our normal crafty-fun time, BUT we managed to squeeze in plenty of fun (well, as much as you can w/someone who feels terrible) while she was here in baby boot camp. She was amazing-- took care of EVERYTHING-- diapers to dinner, ALL THINGS!! It was a huge blessing to me & my little man!! & of course, we anxiously await another visit, but I'm thinking next time, I'd like to go to her... childless :) Obviously, that won't happen for some time, but you gotta have a dream, right?!?

more to come...

catch up

Whoa.

Busy times here in the little city :)

We have been showered w/loving company since I last posted! I can't even get to them all, so I will post again, I promise, BUT here's a little taste for you 3 die hards that still check in on us :)

Dave's sweet mom, Carole, came to help us out while I was still somewhat bedridden :) Emmett was a very adored child that week, & of course loved every minute of it! Extra hugs & kisses, a new lap to sit in, new hands clapping over his accomplishments... it was great for all of us!!

Our friends came home from the Argentine mission field & we got to at least spend one afternoon together!! Here's Paula & all the little boys :) Next time they're in town I hope to be able to participate in life a little more! But it was great to introduce all the little men to each other & fun to just be breathing the same air, even if our adult conversation was heavily punctuated w/tiny voiced interruptions.

& lastly, for this round anyway, Dave's dad & Susan came to see us right at Dave's birthday!! What a great time we had!! We celebrated Dave-- w/dinner & a trip to the Mt. Evans (Emmett was in heaven) & then they sweetly helped us celebrate Emmett's move from baby to boy by getting him his big twin bed!!! We had a fabulous time setting his room up-- ready to go thanks to Dave's brother, who generously gave up a Sunday to come paint it for us!! We had a great time w/family dinners & lounging, chatting for hours & playing w/the boy. It was wonderful!!

Emmett w/Grammy

w/Grandpa

& out on his own :)

Oh, man! My friend over @ SundrenchedMoments is right, every new stage is my favorite stage!! Emmett is a great joy-giver in all of my crazy health mess :) I couldn't be happier in the lot God has given me-- living here w/the two most amazing guys on the planet!! We are getting ready for little sister to make her debut-- updates on her coming soon as well!!

a week shy of 18 mos.

I cannot believe we are about to be living with an 18 month old. So crazy!!!

I will not promise an 18 mos post, b/c obviously posts are few & far between these days!! I've got to get back in the swing of things before this little lady shows up & feels neglected in blogland. Things have been busy-- Dave's mom came for a visit (pics later) & I have just been trying so hard to get back to some semblance of normal w/my body, endurance & attempts at regular activity. Dave recently uploaded the FEW pics we've managed to take since Easter, so I decided to do a little potpourri post for your enjoyment, you 3 people who read this.

Emmett is still amazing us & bringing us much much joy! We don't know what we'd do without him! He is filling our hall w/his running footsteps, & just jabbering away w/his own personal language that makes little sense to us, unless he says one of the following: Uh-oh, ball, dada, no & the RARE mama. My surgeon reassured me that his 2 yr old is still not talking, so I am not anxious :) He is tall for his age, & pleasingly bright-- he has recently started playing hide & seek w/us & doing the occasional trick on command, which gets loads of claps & hoorays from us both! He spontaneously kissed Dave the other night, which completely melted my heart-- & then the following day blew me a kiss-- neither of these actions are norms, so I was elated that all my smothering kisses haven't fallen on deaf ears, so to speak. (sorry for THAT massive run-on) He is a walker, & we love to take morning walks up to the grandparent's house to wish them a good morning :) We finished up his 6 wks of "gymnastics" last Tuesday-- my sweet mother made this possible since I was a sideline observer of him running the length of the gym, jumping on the trampoline (he LOVED it) & getting in all the other kids' faces. He is a very friendly/social little guy-- which is great fun to watch. I'm not sure the other kids knew how to respond to him all the time :) He is getting better & better at responding to discipline, but I have come to the depressing realization that disciplining him is just going to be a part of my life for a while, so I'm thankful for the easier days-- which honestly most are, but every one has bad days! He is happy & easy & funny & wonderful & we can't wait to see how he likes his little sister :)

a brief but fun hat phase

Easter @ the Burcham's House-- do you like his pink basket (supplied by Vicki) that totally annoyed Dada?? :)

seeking out the eggs hidden on the street

not the best shot, but still! We didn't take a family pic!! Not smart :(

helping Dada fill up the pool (that he wouldn't get in)

our sweet little man

We will start on his big boy room this weekend, & then on to the nursery 2 wks after that. To be honest, what I should be doing right now is cleaning my office, which is about to be the office/guest room, instead of eating powdered donuts (they're organic) (not really) & posting, BUT sometimes it is nice to do what I want to do & not what I should do. For example, I recently treated myself to a late night (past 10!!!) movie (The Social Network, loved it) on TV & though I was very tired the next day, I have to say it was nostalgic-- the treat of a movie! This is how exciting my summer has been. You might imagine me propped up on pillows, recovering, watching movie after movie.... people, this did not happen. You know you feel bad when you can't even watch a MOVIE!!!

Anyway, in closing, I would like to bid a formal adieu to Ames, my favorite OF ALL TIME contestant on The Bachelorette! Though my heart breaks for his heartache, the reality is, he was too good to ever even be on that abomination of a TV show, & I really do hope he finds someone to love him! I feel lame writing it, but it's true. :) I can't think of any other TV I need to report on... ok. yes, that's it.

Thanks for stopping in & checking on us :)

what in the ham sandwich?!?!!?

Is that bizarre slang, or is it just me?

That's what my nurse said to me @ my last dr appt-- what in the world??

Just a quick, boring, words-only update. I'm feeling better, but still struggling!! I'm so sick of it all, but thankful to be where I'm at & not where I was :) I have been to 4 doctors just this week & I am ready for next week's line up of only 2!! Thanks for the continued prayers-- they are such a blessing to us all!

Oh, & if you're wondering why this is in pink, it's because we found out we're having a GIRL!!!! Our sono pics were not awesome BUT b/c of some nutrition concerns (everything is FINE, they're just being extra careful) I have to get a sono ONCE A MONTH (darn it!! ;D ) till she's delivered!!! So surely I'll have a good one to post soon. We are VERY excited & Emmett, too-- well, at least we're telling him he is!

Long time coming...

Well, everyone!!!

I have officially, just today, been out of the hospital as long as I was in it. This completely blows my mind, as these days tend to drag & morph in to one big miserable sitting spell-- actually, I shouldn't be so negative. I have been blessed beyond words by sweet SWEET friends who come to spend their day taking care of Emmett & end up nurturing my spirits more than they could possibly know. What a crazy ride the past month has been-- when we flipped our calendar over to June yesterday, Dave & I couldn't help but realize we had totally missed May.

Totally.

I could bore you w/all the gory details of this most recent hospital stay... let's suffice it to say I was well cared for but ready to leave the moment I arrived. I checked in @ 12 wks pregnant-- I know it got announced by my dear Lisa here in blogland-- & now I am, by the grace of our Great God, sitting at a healthy 17 wks, not sure if I'm showing or if the belly is still swollen from the trauma, but the beauty is, the baby is FINE!!! & I'm going to be if you'll give me a few more weeks!

I saw my surgeon yesterday. He was happy w/the healing that has taken place w/my infection. Lisa was putting things delicately, but the infection caused him to open my incision back up, so I have been living w/an open wound on my belly. It isn't huge-- not the full 7" of my scar-- big enough to slip your lipstick in, but no one wants an open wound to take care of! (Dave has to change the dressing 2x daily) Now it is much more shallow & looking good & some extra fun little complications that were threatening another opening were cleared up enough that I was blessed enough to avoid a new cutting... I don't know if it makes sense, the point is, I did not have to have another setback!!! GOD IS SO FAITHFUL. I have been steadfastly praying for a supernaturally quick healing as I am nervous about it closing up before my baby bump is really bumping, & here was my surgeon impressed/pleased w/the progress & all I could think was, "I know who did this!!!"

I am trying to stay positive in this new world of your-disease-is-much-more-serious-than-we-realized-&-you-need-to-go-to-the-Mayo-Clinic that I'm living in-- but I confess it is easy to get overwhelmed & feel desperate to FEEL GOOD. I am making appointments to see new GI's, still having weekly visits to my hematologist-- oh, btw, I didn't have a filter this time! (small miscommunication) My surgeon felt is wasn't necessary & I was THRILLED to have one less procedure on surgery day-- & one less thing to recover from. Anyway, we're starting local, & I have been talking w/a guy who has suffered from Crohn's in ways that made me cry & he has encouraged us to eventually (maybe after baby??) go big city-- he thought I might enjoy telling my medical history & receiving an oh-we've-heard-all-this-before response instead of the stunned silence followed by but-you're-so-young that I normally get. We'll see. This isn't supposed to be a Crohn's blog, so I will try not to go there, BUT it is the easiest way to communicate big & when you're exhausted by EVERYTHING, communicating big is big.

In the meantime, I am feeling very very loved. My sweet husband has stores of energy I don't even understand-- he is tireless, endlessly positive & so good to me I can't even get my head around it (& will absolutely HATE it that I've written that, but how can I not?!?). My parents are beyond generous w/their support, physically & emotionally. This month would have been IMPOSSIBLE w/out them being the literal 2 minutes away that they are. The price they've paid (& are still paying) has been high-- a move is stressful enough w/out your daughter's intestines dying-- they are still in the throws of settling in & that is getting old & tedious, as you may well imagine. & all of our precious friends! Oh, my goodness! From neighbors to friends from church, in-towners & out-of-towners, we have been physically cared for w/babysitting & meals & cards & just love. I am blown away, truly, by how the Father shows His love for us-- we are the richest people in the world & if you're feeling poor, try being hospitalized for a spell & see if your wealth doesn't come running. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all of you who have prayed for me, yet again, during these days. It has been working, it has been tangibly felt, it has been priceless. I have really really needed it. (& still do, hint hint)

Today's been a big day so far. The first time Emmett has EVER had an entire day away from home without us (thank you, Michelle!!!), the first time I have braved the stairs since my return home 2 1/2 wks ago, the first time I've turned on my computer (don't hold your breath for return e-mails), I'm contemplating shaving my legs (you wouldn't even BELIEVE my leg hair), AND, as a special treat, a drive to 7-11 for a Slurpee. In closing, I am, based on advice from my hospital doc, trying to go gluten free. It really hasn't been miserable, but I am open to any cheats/treats/recipes/favorite brands, etc, that any of you know of. I have an amazing source in my very own family (more wealth!!) but sometimes more is more :)

I know this is long, so I'm sorry, I just wanted to feel normal & I did climb all the way up here to do this, after all. Like I like to say, no one's forcing you to read this, you know ;) & sorry no pics, I'm not allowed to lift over 10 lbs & I think our camera might be pretty close... but Emmett is so cute in his shorts & tees!! I love seeing his body more after the long winter & freezing spring! Mom & I love to take his shirt off after we've been outside-- he is fascinated with his belly, pushing it out, sucking it in, poking & pinching it-- it is quite a show. He is the light of our home, loves being outside & is LOVING having Papa & Grandmother & Mema around to love on him :)

I told you I was rich!!

Setback

Friends,

Emily's surgical incision has become infected, causing her pain and slowing her recovery. She will go back to the doctor next Wednesday, June 1. Please pray for the infection to clear and for her incision to heal as well as possible between now and that visit.

Please also pray that God provide for all care-taking needs for Emily and Emmett, as well as support for those already helping them.

LRC

Emily went home yesterday!!!!

Thank you, God! We love you, Emily, and we will keep you, baby, Dave, Emmett, and your family in our prayers over these next weeks of recovery and throughout your pregnancy.

But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely. -- Psalm 59:16-17

More prayers please

Friends,

Emily did not go home yesterday because doctors are concerned about possible infection. Please pray against post-surgical infections. Please also pray for her appetite to return as well as normal body function. They are thankful that all seems well with the baby. My limited communications with Dave and Emily always are full of steadfastness and gratitude on their part. They are a great team.

As you continue in prayer for them, I hope you'll be encouraged by this quote as I was this morning:

"We must repeat the same supplications not twice or three times only, but as often as often as we have need, a hundred and a thousand times. ... We must never weary in waiting for God's help." -- John Calvin, quoted in Prayer by Richard Foster

Out of ICU

Friends,

Emily should be moving out of the ICU today. Her pulse is high, but it sounds like it's a reaction to surgery. All other related tests have been good. The concern right now is the long-term maintenance of her Crohns. Please keep Emily on your long-term prayer list as doctors assess her care.

I'm also seeing reasons for praise and thanksgiving! -- for bringing Emily and the baby through this surgery, for managing Emily's pain and blood clots, and for moving the Trices safely to their new home just down the street from the Machts.

You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! -- Psalm 139:5, 6

LRC

Out of Surgery

Emily is out of surgery. "She is comfortable, but very out of it," Dave says. The surgery was successful, but her pre-surgical condition was worse than expected. Her recovery will be longer and possibly more difficult than the last. However, her body is repaired and healing, she is otherwise healthy, and measures taken for the baby went well. Dave says there may be challenges ahead, but "for now, we're in a good place."

I know the family will appreciate your continued prayers during the rest of Emily's hospital stay and her recovery at home, as well as for the continued health of their baby.
-- LRC

Please pray for surgery

Friends,

Emily will go to surgery today at 12:30 mountain time. She has not been getting better, so everyone feels this is the next best step. An IVC filter will be inserted prior to surgery to ease concerns over blood clots. Obviously, there are risks to both Emily and the baby, but doctors feel this is the safest time within the baby's development. The procedure is similar to her surgery in December, so her recovery will be familiar.

-- LRC

And so, dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven's Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God's house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. ... So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. -- Hebrews 10:19-22, 35-36

Persisting in Prayer

Emily is making good progress but still a ways to go. Surgery is a possibility, so please pray for her progress to continue and for protection for her and the baby.

-- LRC

Update

Emily's pain is Crohns' related, doctors said. I don't know about you, but I'm disappointed as I am relieved. Please pray for the flare to ease quickly. O Lord, may your kingdom come on EARTH as it is in heaven.

Update on Emily

CAT scan has been cancelled. Still waiting on a diagnosis ...

Please pray for Emily

Friends,

Emily is asking for your prayers. She's been in the hospital with stomach pain since Saturday. She's having a cat scan today so doctors can see what's going on. Please pray for her healing and for protection during the test for her sweet unborn baby. Let's also pray for wisdom and compassion for doctors surrounding her.

Lisa Castello

ten on ten

well, technically, sixteen on ten, if you'll allow it,

Moab style!!

People, we had a fabulous time & I can't believe it's almost been a month ago! Dave had some vacation days that happened to align w/some friends' spring break, & we had us a little gathering in beautiful Utah!! I was sadly the only wife to represent the ladies, but those boys were kind to me & didn't give me too hard a time ;)

What a blast to explore the BEAUTIFUL Arches National Park w/friends we don't see near enough. If you haven't been to Arches, consider this my national park plug for 2011-- GO. GO GO GO GO GO. It was unbelievable in every way!

Thanks Jeff & Grace & Josh & Caleb for meeting us there! I can't wait to go again w/ALL of us next time :)

the boys on the way up to Delicate

(& a random somebody)

Emmett LOVED being on Dave's back. He was so content & smiley :)

Josh & Caleb looking super cool :)

Caleb was AWESOME!! He was leaving us all in the dust on the trail!!

Emmett LOVED crawling around once we got to the top.

Dave & Emmett @ Delicate

Jeff & Gracie

Gracie was awesome, too, but I have to say our hat was off to Jeff for toting the 40 lb backpack like it was nothing! WHA?!?!???

Emmett was wiped out by the time we were heading to the car.

Dave on the arch at the sand dune

Caleb & Gracie in action

Those sweet kids!! That sand was like silk-- so cool & smooth

Dave, Jeff & I on top of the arch

(truth be told, I was a bit nervous)

He loved every minute of it!

Yay!!

Family portrait, thank you, Jeff!

The whole lot of us coming out of the Fiery Furnace

That's all, folks!